The Overwhelming Case Against Phil Jackson

Basketball, Sports
AP KNICKS JACKSON BASKETBALL S BKN FILE USA NY

(AP Photo/Seth Wenig, File) 

Phil Jackson wants us to know that he is unwavering in his philosophical convictions. He is confident in his executive process beyond all reason. He is insular beyond justification. He hears the criticisms in our exasperated pleas, he understands their basis, and he is ignoring them: his next head coach will be one of his “friends who runs the triangle.” It’s inexplicable and he knows it, but rather than denigrate and abandon the doctrine synonymous with his own eroding reputation, he ploughs ahead toward certain failure.

The Phil Jackson coaching tree is a desiccated oak struck by lightning seventeen times before finally cut up to make replacement paneling for a 1982 Aerostar. It’s the sapling in an orange grove infected with Dutch Elm’s disease, and the next head coach of the Knicks will be plucked from amongst its virulent fruit.

Rambis, Shaw, Cartwright, Fisher – that’s not a tree, it’s a dissipated cemetery.

The bankruptcy of talent presented by each of Phil’s assistants who have ascended to a head coaching position is consistent and staggering, but one of these objective and abject failures will soon be offered maybe the most valued coaching job in the NBA. They have one credential that overrides all of their losses and their recorded inabilities to grow and connect with players. They know Phil. That’s it. They just know him.

There’s only one person in the solar system who thinks Kurt Rambis is qualified to be the head coach of anything other than an eighth grade C.Y.0. rec team, and it surprises no one that one savior clinging to irrational belief is Phil Jackson. Rambis appears poised to lead this ship back to the bottom of the ocean, set to be the permanent head coach almost by default, as Carmelo Anthony is in front of every microphone he can find begging for there to even be a process in place for hiring the next head coach – apparently one doesn’t at present exist.

That Tom Thibodeau, the most coveted head coach available this offseason, reached out to Phil with an interest in the Knicks’ vacancy and was mystifyingly rebuffed should actually not be all that mystifying considering Phil’s unequal opportunity hiring methodology. Ignoring intriguing candidates – this year it was Thibs, Scotty Brooks, and Jeff Van Gundy — is a staple of Phil’s executive agenda. Before hiring Derek Fisher in 2014, Stan Van Gundy expressed interest in the vacancy and was similarly treated as a nonentity. Fisher was hired, fresh off the court and without any experience as a coach of any kind at any level, and was, predictably, an instant failure, buried now in his rightful plot in the Phil Jackson Coaching Cemetary. Meanwhile, Stan Van Gundy is in Detroit rebuilding the Pistons and this year was in the playoffs while the Knicks checked back in to their reserved room in the league’s basement with their second miserably inadequate head coach in as many years, looking possibly now for a third.

There has quickly emerged a pattern in Phil’s strategy that Knicks fans have found unacceptable, a modus operandi that, even considering his own legend as a head coach, disqualifies him from his front office position and merits his immediate termination. That’s not hyperbole. Phil Jackson will allow the Knicks to lose, and lose stupendously, before he will adapt the antiquated ideology that comprises his own identity in the league.

It’s 2016 and the Triangle is dead, but Phil Jackson will trot its corpse onto the floor of Madison Square Garden and let the Knicks be steamrolled rather than abandon it. He will let the Knicks and their fans suffer, but he will not let suffer his Triangle.

He doesn’t hide that the Triangle is prioritized over winning, over the organization’s growth and development, over its fans – he wants you to feel the Triangle’s importance because it is so closely connected with his own. He responded to another 30-win season under the guidance of a head coach whose resume contains only derision, one disliked by Knicks players and ridiculed around the league, by hosting a Triangle camp in tandem with that objectively miserable head coach. He wants you to know: the Knicks are not giving up on the Triangle. He knows you hate it. He knows the taste is sour, he knows it’ll make you sick, but he’ll serve it to you three times a day anyway.

The league’s tempo and style have moved away from most of the foundational elements of the overly complex, borderline impossible to understand Triangle Offense – the Triangle wants the ball to flow through a center in the post, and the NBA is currently dominated by speedy guards and centers who can stretch away from the basket; the triangle wants the ball in everyone’s hands, and players now are taught to use back screens and cuts to free up space on the weak-side away from the ball; the Triangle’s only use for three point shooting is to free up opportunities in the post, but the present preponderance of perimeter shooters is rendering elbow jumpers and points in the paint to their least valued position in NBA history – it’s hard to beat teams who score three points at a time by staying under the basket and only scoring two.

And on, and on, and on.

The Triangle is intuitive, well-reasoned, effective historically when smart, talented players buy-in – it contains pieces that still work well, but the game has moved on from the Triangle as a complete, self-contained system. It’s not surprising that the league’s current two best teams – the Spurs and Warriors — have adopted the Triangle’s most effective elements and married them to the realities of the 2016 NBA. They utilize quick passes to open shooters on the weak side, safety valves against defensive pressure, back screens to create mismatches off the ball – the ball movement used by the Spurs and Warriors is very much based on Triangle philosophies, but they don’t encourage the inhibiting of athletic reflex and one-on-one intuition that the Triangle demands.

With his refusal to abandon or adapt his system, the cap space that Phil has worked to secure this offseason may be, ironically, useless to him. Consider that the guy who invented the Triangle required his players to sit for two years of study before even being prepared to step foot on the court in a game situation — attracting the offseason’s best free agents to come play in an antiquated, complex system with no immediate promise of success or understanding, for a coach who’s never won, will be no small order.

“KD! It’s Phil again. I know you’ve hung up on me fourteen times in a row, but did you hear about the Triangle camp that I ran with Kurt Rambis?”

“Sorry for coming to your house again uninvited, Demar, but do you really understand how many elbow jumpers the Triangle will open for you?”

“All right, Andre, I know you’re worried about Rambis’ career win percentage, so I faxed you a chart of the 598 passes available from the post in the Triangle.”

Even Phil’s greatest personnel coup was almost inhibited by Triangle wisdom. Picking Kristaps Porzingis in last year’s draft is probably the only reason Phil still has a job, but the primary reason he took KP fourth was because Jahlil Okafor – the Duke center whose post-scoring and interior passing caused instinctive drooling whenever Phil imagined him as his Triangle center – was taken one spot ahead of the Knicks and by all pre-draft analysis would have been Phil’s pick if he’d fallen to them.

He didn’t, and Porzingis was a smart, forward-thinking risk that’s so far paid off, but his severe drop in production as the season progressed is a legitimate concern – as he became more familiar with the system, with the Triangle, his numbers actually decreased. The brilliance of taking Porzingis is negated if you don’t have the intelligence, or the humility, to use him correctly. He represents the ideal Stretch 5, the most coveted position in today’s NBA, but unfortunately for Porzingis, the Stretch 5 hadn’t been considered in 1962 when the thousands of diagrams that comprise the Triangle were created, and so it will have no place on Phil Jackson’s Knicks.

Phil is married to the Triangle – it’s part of his basketball identity, it’s the reason he’s allowed to take credit for winning championships with Michael and Scottie and Kobe and Shaq. He can’t let it go – if he admits its deficiencies, he’ll be admitting that his role on those great teams should be properly diminished, and his own myth will weaken. The only coaches available to him, then, are coaches who both understand the triangle well enough to implement it and are masochistic enough to actually do so – a miniscule list of names rightfully discarded by the league as objectively inadequate. The Knicks under Phil Jackson are therefore doomed to run an obsolete system for a coach whose never won – they are doomed to lose for as long as he remains employed, and so the only thing currently more puzzling than the Triangle is the delay in his dispensation.

Whatever This Is, Blow It Up: 14 Minutes with the Knicks and Sixers

Basketball, Sports

I’m coming to this game twelve minutes into the first quarter.  I tried to tune in earlier, but each time I built up the psychic fortitude required to watch, my eyes filled with tears of rage and sudden-onset decrepitude, and within 3 or 4 seconds I’d have to throw a shoe at the TV’s ‘Off’ button and run screaming from the room in dubious horror while ripping the batteries from my remote.  It was sort of like when I was a small child and I kept trying to watch the Disney cartoon ‘Aladdin,’ but at every attempted viewing, I’d make it something like two minutes in, to the point in which the cartoon stone lion swallows a pair of cartoon gypsies, and I’d force my parents to obliterate the television screen before I destroyed our home’s peace with my shock-and-awe artillery of terrified howls.

Otherwise stated: Watching 27 real-time minutes of the Knicks play the 76ers was like reliving irrational childhood nightmares that had previously been locked dormant in heretofore heavily fortified portions of my psyche for decades.

Specifically:

1:03 1Q: Sixers announcers have used the actual phrase “I don’t know what kind of basketball player he was, but he was much better in other sports” three times in the first two possessions of my viewing to describe former 76ers players.  Not sure for which profession they’d suggest the current Sixers roster would be better suited, but I am imagining ‘Disgraced Homeless Former Hot Dog Truck Driver’ is in the Top 5.

:43.2 1Q: Nearly all the way through the First Quarter, and there are fewer total points in this game (35) than total games won by either team combined over the last twenty-seven years.  I am estimating this statistic based purely upon the abomination that I have witnessed over the last four minutes but I see no possible way that it could be inaccurate.

END 1Q: The 76ers broadcast is advertising a Twitter hashtag: #Sixerstalk.  I check it out and it is just an endless scroll of people writing “Blood Garbage” in between anguished seeming nonsense words that I am guessing is the result of many people reflexively vomiting onto their keyboards.

11:32 2Q: Every time the Knicks score (something like two times so far — enough to establish a pattern I am certain), the Sixers play-by-play guy has announced the scorer with the introduction “Ohhhhhhh, so that’s, uh, that’s–“.  Don’t worry buddy, the guys that the Knicks starters were playing with last week in the Thursday Night Modified Taco Stand Employee Junior D League didn’t know who they were, either.

9:23 2Q: The Sixers have run, two or three times so far, a weird offensive set that employs three successive screens at the top of the circle in which none of the screeners roll and the ball handler weaves flamboyantly through them and then inexplicably sprints out of bounds.  Surprisingly, this has seemed more effective than the Knicks offensive strategy, in which Carmelo tackles the ball at midcourt and lies splayed  on the floor, weeping, trying through garbled sobs to get the referees to listen to his business ideas.

7:38 2Q: “Carmelo Anthony is running around looking at everyone saying, ‘HEY, I’M CARMELO ANTHONY!”: direct quote, Sixers announcer.  I actually sort of wish this one was a joke.  I’m beginning to imagine the Sixers announcers as a pair of morose washed-up once-professionals, floating through their lives in a haze of shame and wasted promise and interacting exclusively in sad-sack Bill Murrayisms.  Also fighting the urge to write an enormous “Humans of New York” style sixty thousand word column about the sad masochistic freaks whose lives are so depressing and failed that they at some point veered down a path that led them to eventually right now in the present pay money to attend this game, complete with accompanying forlorn portraits of each patron and merciless scorched earth descriptive analyses of how exactly their lives went wrong and how the cherubic exuberance of their youth has been replaced by some distant unidentifiable series of motivating events by an overwhelming malaise and feeling of human existence as generally parasitic and meaningless.

7:05 2Q: “It’s nice to see the Sixers run some offensive plays and see them turn out the way they wanted.”  This is a hopeful assessment by the TV crew but it is not describing anything that has happened in this game so far.  Possibly they have abandoned the live action and are now reading aloud subtly pornographic 76er fan fiction.

5:59 2Q: The Knicks have missed something like 7 shots in a row, and have completely abandoned the idea of attempting an offensive rebound, and are instead wisely sprinting back into their defensive sets at the onset of every shot, cleverly anticipating each miss and allowing 4 Sixers players to converge on every inevitable rebound.  While the Sixers are happy to pad their rebounding stats, they have filed a petition with the league office to have the Knicks reprimanded for plagiarizing their offensive philosophy, “Assume That Every Shot Will Result in Failure.”

4:21 2Q: Carmelo, apparently gripped by some weird tantrum after not drawing a few fouls that the refs apparently did not hear him call on their behalf, has begun indiscriminately hurling elbows at everything that moves.  Please god let him just burn this building to the ground.

3:06 2Q: The game returns from commercial, and :36 seconds of game action has apparently transpired during the break.  I am not sure what the hell this network even is that I am watching this game on, but they are apparently doing their best to show us as much mercy as contractually allowed.

1:07 2Q; It seems as though I threw up at my television as an act of violence against it, passed out from confused exasperation, awoke to the sideline reporter advertising something called “Dollar Hot Dog Night,” vomited again.

:22.6 2Q: THERE IS AN EIGHT PERSON PILEUP UNDER THE KNICK BASELINE IS THIS AN ACT OF DIVINE SYMBOLISM I DON’T EVEN CARE WHY DOES THIS GAME EXIST.

:1.7 2Q: If you listen closely, you can hear the rim begging forgiveness for whatever it is every shooter in this game imagines it has done wrong.

:00 2Q: I can’t take it anymore.  I just can’t.  I was going to try to push through at least another quarter, even if it was simply to follow the character arc of the announcers as it plummeted screaming toward earth, but no level of intrigue for the train wrecks of complete strangers whose misery I might enjoy from afar is worth this.  I’m not sure how I feel about ‘tanking’ — whether I think as a strategy or phenomenon it really exists to the extent that it’s talked about in The Media, and if it is, whether I agree in theory with its strategic employ or whether it should be regulated out of the league for moral impropriety — but I know that, stripped down and viewed in the basest terms, as a person who loves basketball, wanting to watch a basketball game that reflects and respects The Game in even a remote, superficial way, the product being put out by these two teams is a dumpster-fire disaster that I don’t ever want to see again, that no lover of basketball should be subjected to for fear that their earnest deference would be compromised and corrupted.  No one should have to pay money to see the Knicks and the 76ers try to learn to play basketball.  No one involved with either organization should feel comfortable sitting through 82 games per year for however many years it takes to turn them into actual basketball teams.  Even if their catastrophe is by design, if I owned either of these two teams, I don’t know how I could watch my team play the way the Knicks and 76ers played tonight and not want to obliterate my entire payroll.  If the Knicks were my team, I’d want everyone associated with the last 18 games as far away from my franchise as possible.  No one — no player, no coach, no equipment guy — no one associated with the franchise as it stands right now is allowed back in Madison Square Garden if the Knicks are my team.  Anyone who thinks that it’s impossible to fail a franchise after just 42 games hasn’t watched the 2015 Knicks.  Phil Jackson has failed.